Veteran Denied Admission Due to Family's Bad Behavior

There is almost always more to any situation I read about in the newspaper than is revealed in the article, but I am troubled by an item that appeared yesterday in my local paper. The as yet unresolved story is playing out here in Colorado, where I reside.

An 88-year-old WWII veteran, a survivor of Japan’s attack on Pearl Harbor, is being denied admission to one of six state-operated nursing homes dedicated to the care of veterans and their spouses. The reason? The nursing home administration says that during the veteran’s six-day stay at the nursing home in December of 2006, one or more (the article didn’t say) of the veteran’s family members were unpleasant and difficult. Administration feels they have the right to deny admission to anyone they deem a bad fit with their nursing home community. The nursing staff concurs.

The man suffers from Alzheimer’s and other physical ailments. When he falls at home, his 83-year-old wife can no longer lift him, or even assist him, off the floor. His care has become more than she is able to give and it is taking a toll on her health, as well. The nursing home suggests the family seek admission to a facility 45 miles from their home. If placed there, his wife could no longer drive to see him, something she could do daily if he were cared for locally.

It must be noted here that much of the state of Colorado is remote and rugged. Compared to many other states, there are few large cities and the smaller towns are widely scattered, with large, sparsely populated areas between them. This describes the area where the veteran lives. There are, therefore, no other practical or convenient care options available to this family.

The veteran’s son admits that, because of a bruise on his father’s body, he did accuse the nursing home of physical abuse and also suggested the possibility of sexual abuse. The son feels his parents are being punished for his actions.

I have never worked in a nursing home. Is it common practice to admit, or not, based on the compatibility of the staff with the patient and/or the patient’s family? I agree that a tough job is made tougher when dissatisfied or hard-to-please families are thrown into the mix. But, three things bother me about this situation. One: the facility is set up to serve veterans and the man is a veteran, so serve him. Two: it seems cruel to separate these two elderly people who, based on their ages and fragile physical states, might not have much time left to spend together. Three: are we not allowed to question the care our family members receive?

It will be interesting to see how this situation is resolved.